Seniors & Aging

Easing Seniors Away from the Wheel:  A Helpful Resource from ALFA.com
"Unless there's an immediate safety issue, compromise may be the best way to curb driving time for seniors whose skills are waning. Here are several signs that an older driver should curtail driving ..." Click Here for more.  Also see in-depth article from Chicago Tribune 2/28/10.


Planning for senior living involves all kinds of rational decision making. It also involves a lot of emotional letting go. No two people face their own aging in quite the same way. Plus, some people age faster than others, or in different ways. And no two families are the same, either. Economics, belief systems and living situations vary greatly. What works for one family is impossible for the next. It is also good to realize that your family is not alone.

In the United States, over 12 million Americans are making senior living decisions right now. That number increases every year. In fact, by 2030, over 65 million Americans will be facing retirement and senior living decisions. So consider yourself on the leading edge of a new trend and give yourself a break: there is no such thing as the "typical situation." Everyone, every family has a unique set of circumstances that must be weighed. The worst thing to do is to compare and judge your family's decisions based on what other people think. Source: Family Circle and the Kaiser Family Foundation.

The Right Time for Care

When is the right time to consider a senior living arrangement? Again, it all depends. Knowing how to recognize the right time comes down to the kind of living arrangement that is needed. Some seniors choose to stay at home. Others require some kind of specific care. While others consider senior living solely on their changing lifestyle, such as escaping the upkeep of a house, or being with others who have similar interests. Once you recognize your circumstance, it is easier to assess the options.

Communication is the Key

"They'll never get me into a home."

"Who is going to take care of me when I grow old?"

All too many families know the fear and drama behind conversations like these. That's because making senior living decisions is hard. It represents an enormous change for everyone involved. How do you face leaving your family home? How do you suggest to a parent or loved one they may be better off "somewhere else?" How do you balance love and necessity?

The only way to work through feelings of fear, uncertainty and guilt is to talk about it. This can also be hard, but it is far better than to avoid the conversation. Once it is clear you are acting out of love and consideration—out of what's best for everyone—the dialogue may start to get easier.

Partners in the Process

Whether it's a senior thinking about moving or an adult child considering help for a parent, any decision about senior living should include the entire family. These conversations require a leader or organizer (the one who starts the dialogue); and usually the person who most favors the change should be appointed. It's best when everything is "put on the table" support, finances, timing, choices.

Start with the Basics

Once you decide to explore senior living alternatives, the first consideration is geographic. Exactly where is the right place to live? This could vary based on weather, a dream location, or closeness to special relative. But once you decide this, everything else starts to come into focus. The next issue is all about services and care needs. Do you need someone to cook meals? Administer medication? Help with dressing and bathing? Or just a more social lifestyle? The third consideration is financial. What can you afford? This can be a huge question, as you have to consider things like retirement savings, your estate, outside assistance and other family financial needs. Finally, there's comfort. Just what feels like home? Within the spectrum of senior living, there is a lifestyle for every taste. At the end of the day, home is what we make it.

Sell My House in a Downturn Market?

Is now the time to move into a retirement community? Has the market bottomed out yet? How far down will it go? When will it turn around? These and other questions are being asked and discussed by so many senior homeowners and their loved ones. The idea of moving into an independent retirement community where the housekeeping, landscaping and maintenance are provided sounds very good. You like the idea of being freed up to learn new things, and meet new people, maybe even travel. However, having lived through more than one economic downturn, you wonder if the right thing to do is to stay put until the housing market turns around.

While that may have made good sense 30-40 years ago, does it make sense now? Gayle Lagman-Creswick, 2008, Lovin' Life After 50, states, “…as a practical thinker I know from experience that postponing a move to a retirement community because of economic indicators may have negative personal consequences. When I was in the retirement community business in the early '80s, we suffered a similar housing downturn. Many people waited to sell their homes, wanting a better return on their investment. Quite a few of those people no longer qualified when they finally sold their home a couple years later and wanted to move in. I personally witnessed individuals who had developed health conditions which then disqualified them from independent living.”

Postponing your plan to move into a retirement community may leave you with fewer options. The waiting game may then only qualify you for assisted living or a more dependent setting. The decision is based upon need, rather than choice. Make a choice about a retirement community while you or your loved one are in reasonably good health and while you can enjoy what is offered. Lagman-Creswick recommends these points to ponder:

• Most sources agree that it will take a couple of years for the housing market to recover. 
•  If you sell your home now you will not get boom prices, but if you have owned your home for years, you will still get a good overall appreciated price.
• The fees at the retirement community of your choice are not going to go down, they will most likely go up.
• Because of the housing market situation, many retirement communities are offering specials - take advantage of them.
• Weigh the advantages of choosing where you want to live, against living where you need or must live. Along with that is the advantage of your choosing a place of residence over having a family member or health worker "put" you in a residence.
• Your children in their 30s or 40s may advise against selling your home in this market. That may be good advice for them, but is it good advice for us? You decide.